Fates Entwined Page 7

  Michael heard a lock slide into place after the door closed. He couldn’t help feeling a little put out. In his imagination, his joyful reunion hadn’t been delayed in this fashion.

  After a couple of minutes, hurried footsteps sounded on the other side of the door. He straightened himself just as the door opened.

  “Sorry for the delay, My Lord. Please, won’t you come in?” The maid stepped aside, and Michael entered. She gestured to a room off to the left. “My mistress is waiting for you in the parlor.”

  Michael’s stomach tightened. He entered the parlor, and there was his Jocelyn, a smile overtaking her face. In two strides, he was to her, gathering her into an embrace.

  “Jocelyn, you’re like a vision. I can hardly believe you’re real.”

  “Me? How do you think I feel? I didn’t even know you were coming.”

  Michael wanted to hold her forever, but the need to see her face overcame him. He pulled away and saw her shining hazel eyes looking up at him. Her lips were slightly parted, and he couldn’t resist kissing them. He was with her, holding her, touching her, tasting her skin. All reason left his mind. In its place was only a desire to cherish and love her, to keep her close.

  When he finally broke the kiss, he stood with his forehead resting against hers, trying to catch his breath. “Oh, Jocelyn, I’ve missed you so much.”

  “How are you here? Why didn’t you write?”

  Michael straightened and led them both to sit on the sofa. “I was summoned to court. I was waiting for an excuse to come, and as soon as I had it, I left. I was on the road the day after the message reached me.”

  “A summons? What for?”

  “I don’t know. Does it matter? It’s just an excuse to be with you. I can’t feel guilty about coming when it would be far worse for my family if I ignored a command from the king.”

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I only wish I had more time with you. I’m going to have to get ready to leave soon.”

  “That’s all right. I expected as much. It’s why I came here first before heading to King’s Head. Are you going to be at court tomorrow?”

  “Yes.”

  “Alone?”

  Jocelyn nodded. “I’m attending a tennis match.”

  “Good. I don’t know when the king will have time to see me. If you’re there, we can spend some time together while I wait.”

  “That would be wonderful. We’ll probably be able to have our midday meal together. I don’t think the king will be able to see you until late afternoon at the earliest.”

  “I’ll plan on it then. How have you been?” Michael caressed her face, marveling at the smoothness of her skin.

  “I’ve been well. You were right. Our time apart has given me opportunity to think. I’ve treasured your letters. I’ve kept every one.”

  “Writing you is the one thing that has kept me sane.”

  “I’m glad I’ve been of some comfort to you. I so often wonder what you must think of my letters. I’ve never corresponded with anyone before, other than social invitations.”

  “You never need to worry. I can’t imagine there’s anything you could write that wouldn’t interest me.”

  She leaned in and kissed him, as if she was too happy to contain herself. It took Michael off guard. Knowing that she was as excited to see him as he was her warmed him. “As much as I’d love to stay and talk with you all night, I really have to be going.”

  “Can’t you cancel?” Michael hated himself for the request as soon as he made it. Her answer would only hurt him.

  Jocelyn shook her head. “You know I can’t. We agreed that you wouldn’t interfere. Besides, it would rouse Lawrence’s suspicions. I haven’t been able to hide the fact that you write me, but I don’t want him to know how close we’ve become. If I cancel an engagement to spend time with you, he wouldn’t excuse it.”

  “I know. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to get ready.” Michael stood, and Jocelyn followed, looking contrite. “Don’t worry about it, Jocelyn. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She smiled. “Yes, tomorrow.”

  Michael placed a quick kiss on her lips and left, the picture of her face when she saw him painted in his mind. He could hardly wait to see what the next day would bring.

  * * *

  Chapter 15

  “Right here is perfect.” Jocelyn stopped walking and gestured to Rob, the servant following them with a basket of food and blankets. The gardens of Hampton Court Palace offered the perfect setting for a midday meal away from the bustling crowds at court. The weather was much too cold for anyone else to be out, but it was one of the warmer days in recent weeks. Bundled in furs, Jocelyn decided the chilly air was a small price to pay for privacy.

  “Is it really proper for us to be sitting on the grass eating like this?” Michael joined Jocelyn on the blankets while the servant unpacked the food.

  Jocelyn waved Rob away, and he stood off to the side. “Proper? Probably not, but the king doesn’t mind, so what does it matter? It’s his garden.”

  “I’d ask how you know the king’s opinion on the matter, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t like the answer.”

  Jocelyn smiled. “No, you probably wouldn’t.” For a moment, she considered dispelling the picture he must have in his mind. The king only ever engaged with her intellectually. However, it also pleased him to watch George enjoying her body, so she thought it best to just avoid the topic all together. She grabbed some cheese and bread and began to eat. “How has life been in Dover? There must be plenty you didn’t include in your letters.”

  “Not really. I’m much more interested in hearing about you and what you’ve been doing.”

  Jocelyn raised her eyebrows as she finished chewing. “I highly doubt that.”

  Michael grimaced. “Well, maybe not everything you’ve been doing. I suppose I just love the sound of your voice.”

  “Not good enough. How’s your family doing?”

  “Well. Margaret and Mother are strong. You wouldn’t be able to tell their troubles by looking at them. The children are, thankfully, too young to be much disturbed. I don’t know how much they really grasp of the situation.”

  “How old are they?”

  “Catherine is five and Grace is three.”

  “Children know more than they let on, but they’re also more resilient than adults.”

  “What were you like at that age?”

  “Me? Poor. When I was five, I helped my foster mother launder clothes. She and her husband were always fighting. I used to lie on the floor at night and dream of what life would be like when I was no longer with them, when I could wear the pretty clothes I spent all day washing and ironing.”

  “You did well for yourself.” Michael eyed her auburn silk dress peeking out from her fur-trimmed cloak and her discarded muff.

  “Yes, I did, with some help.” Jocelyn finished her cheese. The silence between them was comfortable. The green trees, clear blue sky, and warmth of the sun shining down on them through the cold air were all perfect. “I don’t have any engagements tonight. I could come to your room.”

  “No.”

  “Why not? We could stay up talking all night.”

  “I would love nothing more than to have you in my room all night, but I don’t think it would be a good idea after this long apart. Simply being this close to you is tempting. If we were in private, there’s no doubt I’d have you in my bed, and I’d hate myself for it after.”

  “There’d be no reason to.”

  “So you’re ready to stop entertaining clients?”

  Jocelyn wanted to say yes. It would be so easy. In this moment, it was true. She wouldn’t be lying, but it would cease being true as soon as her mind caught up with her racing heart. She couldn’t give up her life to concede to temporary feelings. As much as she cared for Michael, as much as she wanted to be his, she knew how this story would end. Who was he to make such demands of her?

  “No, and I never will be. This
is who I am, Michael. Why can’t that be enough for you?”

  “You are enough for me. I realize that. It is you who does not. You think that if you give all of yourself to me, it won’t be enough. That’s why you insist on giving bits of yourself to others. You think I can’t hurt you if I don’t have all of you, but you must know that’s not true. I could hurt you, Jocelyn. I know I could because you could hurt me. You’re simply preventing me from loving you the way you deserve.”

  “Those are nice words, Michael. However, you say you love me, but you insist on taking away my security. Why should it matter who I fuck, who I spend time with? They don’t get the parts of me that you do. No one else ever has. You said so yourself.”

  Michael shook his head. “You won’t sway me on this. Until you trust me, I won’t bed you. In the meantime, I have no objection to you coming to my room in principle, but I can’t have you there tonight. I’m no saint.”

  Jocelyn had never met a man she couldn’t persuade. Michael did a fine job of disrupting her world. She wished she could change, that she could give Michael what he wanted, but she couldn’t. She didn’t even know if she could convince him if she lied. Even if she did, Michael wouldn’t be able to forgive her when he discovered her deception. While she didn’t think she’d ever take Michael up on his offer, she didn’t want to completely close that door. “Fine. Do you have an alternative in mind for tonight, or should I work instead?”

  Jocelyn couldn’t help the bite in her words. Michael infuriated her, but she still wanted to see him. She couldn’t deny the desire she felt for him.

  “There’s no need for that, Jocelyn. I thought we could meet at King’s Head for dinner, unless you have another, equally public, idea.”

  “No, King’s Head will be fine. I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m finished here.”

  “I thought you weren’t working?”

  “You really don’t know exactly what it is I do, do you?” Jocelyn found it amusing that he still hadn’t grasped what her role was. “I’m not taking a client tonight, but I still work. It’s important that I know what’s happening. Men aren’t paying me just for my company. They want my information as well.”

  “So, do you know why the king summoned me?”

  Jocelyn frowned. “No, and it has me concerned. Then again, I haven’t spent any time with George in over a week. He’s usually my best source.”

  “George?”

  “Villiers.”

  “The Marquess of Buckingham?”

  “Yes.”

  “I didn’t realize you called him by his Christian name.”

  “Well, I don’t in public.” Jocelyn smirked. “Are you jealous?”

  “No,” Michael huffed, making his protestation even less convincing.

  “Hmm. Well, he knows why you’re here. It can’t be anything too interesting, or there’d be rumors by now, unless no one on the council has been informed. If it’s just between George and the king, it’ll stay that way. Neither one is the type to idly gossip.”

  “But they’d tell you?”

  “I’m different. They wouldn’t be gossiping to me. They’d be confiding.” She brushed some crumbs from her hands. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll find out soon enough. The king usually starts taking private audiences right about this time. We should go back inside. You don’t want to make it hard for a page to find you and keep the king waiting.”

  “You’re probably right.” Michael stood and assisted Jocelyn to her feet. “So, I’ll see you at King’s Head?”

  “Yes, and you can tell me all about your audience with the king.” Jocelyn pushed her curiosity to the side. She had work to do.

  * * *

  Chapter 16

  “Your Majesty.” Michael bowed to the king.

  “Lord Barwick, how nice to see you again. I barely got to speak with you the last time you were at court before you scurried back home.”

  Michael wished he knew King James better. He had no idea how he was supposed to interpret the man’s words. Was he reprimanding him or simply making conversation? Jocelyn would know.

  “I do apologize, Sire. Unfortunately, my family needed me at home. However, I am always in your service, no matter where I am.”

  “Yes, I was sorry to hear about your brother. Richard was well liked, even if he came and left court as quickly as you do. He was a good man.”

  “Thank you, Sire.”

  “I suppose you must be wondering why I’ve called you here.”

  “I have wondered why I was extended such an honor.”

  James smiled. Michael wished it calmed his stomach, but he was too uncertain. “I have decided to confer upon you the title of Earl of Dover.”

  Michael tried to keep the confusion from his face. “Thank you, Sire. I am undeserving of such an honor.”

  “Modest, just like your brother. It is only fitting that a man of your wealth and stature have a title to match.”

  “I am humbled by Your Majesty’s praise.”

  “I also couldn’t have a member of my family marrying a baron.”

  This time Michael couldn’t help the confused furrow of his brow. He must have misheard. “Excuse me, Sire? I don’t understand.”

  “I would like you to marry Lady Jane to bring you into the family. She is a very pleasant lady, fair and beautiful. She will be a good wife for you.”

  Michael’s mind raced. Buckingham stood behind the king, smiling. Of course, he would want to insure Michael’s loyalty and the loyalty of his ships for his potential war with Spain. All this was designed to secure Michael’s fealty and further extend the king’s power over his fortune.

  He couldn’t deny the king. It may have been worded as a request, but it was meant as an order. For a moment, he considered telling the king he was already secretly married to Jocelyn, but it was a dangerous lie. Even if it were true, it would incur the king’s wrath. His family didn’t hold enough power for him to be so bold. Accepting the marriage would not only please the king, but it would fulfill his duty to his family. Even if something were to happen to him before Lady Jane could give him an heir, his family would be closer to the king and more likely to be cared for.

  “I am honored by your offer of Lady Jane’s hand, and I gladly accept, Sire.” Each word from his mouth stabbed his chest.

  “Excellent.”

  * * *

  “The Earl of Dover.” The herald announced Michael’s new title when he entered the hall from the king’s audience chamber.

  Michael was still in shock. Having a room full of faces trained on him didn’t help. To his left, he saw Lawrence. Although they had never formally been introduced, he knew the man. The smug satisfaction on his face surprised Michael, and he didn’t know what to make of it. Further away to his right, he found Jocelyn. She appeared calm and composed. Of course, she didn’t know of his betrothal.

  “Congratulations, Lord Dover.” A man to his right patted him on the back. Michael knew he should know the man’s name, but he couldn’t call it to mind.

  “Thank you.” Michael nodded and smiled. A half dozen other men congratulated him.

  “A well-deserved advancement, My Lord.” Lawrence’s gravelly voice caught Michael’s attention. “From what I understand, other congratulations are in order as well.”

  Michael focused on Lawrence’s blue eyes. He knew. The truth of the situation finally dawned on Michael. This was all Lawrence’s doing. This wasn’t about his wealth or marriage. This was about Jocelyn. Lawrence had neatly secured Jocelyn’s future as one of his girls. There was no way for Michael to take Jocelyn from him. Lawrence had won a battle Michael hadn’t even known he was fighting.

  * * *

  Chapter 17

  Jocelyn stood outside King’s Head. Michael had left the palace without speaking to her. There had been more to his audience with the king than his new title, and Michael didn’t seem thrilled with the news. She had thought about asking around to see if she could find out anything more, but she knew she w
ould be able to ask Michael soon enough.

  From across the street, she saw a candle in the window of the room Michael had occupied last time. A cold foreboding overcame her. Michael was changing their plans. He wanted her to come to his room. It couldn’t be for anything good.

  Before she could even knock, Michael’s door opened. The anguish on his face pained her.

  “Jocelyn.” He pulled her into the room and shut the door before enveloping her in his arms and burying his face in her neck.

  She wrapped her arms around him. “What is it? What’s happened?”

  Michael pulled away. “I’m betrothed.”

  “What?” Jocelyn’s stomach sank.

  “To Lady Jane, the king’s second cousin.”

  Jocelyn made it to the sofa before her knees gave out beneath her. It shouldn’t matter to her. It wasn’t as though she was going to marry Michael. In a way, this solved her problem. If Michael married, the only way for him to have her would be as a mistress. He wanted her badly enough to accept her that way, didn’t he? This forced him to take her on her terms. So why did she only feel devastation?

  “Please, say something.” Michael sat next to her.

  She looked at his face, the crooked nose, the gray eyes, the lips that were so gentle against her skin. The pain written on his features echoed her own. He looked to her for comfort. She wanted to provide it, but she didn’t know how. The only thing she knew in that moment was that she loved him. She had for a long time, and she’d known it all along. She had only denied it in the hope that it would fade. Love was a novelty that should have passed.

  She knew in that moment that it never would.

  “I love you.”

  “What?”

  “I love you. You asked me to say something, and that’s it. You were right all along. You told me I’d realize it someday, and now I have.”

  Michael’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. He smiled and released a choked laugh. “That’s some timing you have.”